Hi, I'm 34% Evil from Uranus

Oh great.
I'm at the stage of filling in on line 'tests' to find out how evil I am, at what price I would sell out, what animal I was in a past life...what planet I'm from...

I'm 34% Evil

"A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil."

I'm From Uranus
(oh how we laughed)

"You shine with brilliant creativity, and you're more than a little eccentric.
You love everything unusual and shocking. You're one far-out chick or dude.
Anything unconventional excites you - and you have genius potential.
Just don't let your rebel side get the best of you, or else you'll alienate everyone.
Your original thinking and funky attitude is all you need to be you."

Oh, and apparetly I'm a Strawberry Daquiri...
"You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party. You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk!"

Playful drinker? Daquiri? But I told it I like tequila!

Ah - HA! If I give exactly the same answers but change my answer for "You ideal spring break would be spent:" from "At a five star hotel that backs to the beach" to "In Cancun, going wild" then I magically turn into a....

"You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party!
You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down."

Hurrah! I like that answer much better.

I want to get a job writing these things.

They're even more flimsy than the 'Mostly Bs = You are kind and friendly, but don't let people walk over you. You know your own mind, but are open to other opinions." tests that used to appear in Jackie and Just 17.

Someone somewhere is sitting at a desk right now thinking up some inane quiz to test "How many fingers would you have if you lived on Zuton?" or "If you were a car manouvre, what would you be?" (Answers probably would include: A three point turn "Efficient and slick, but sometimes get in other people's way", Hillstart "Difficult to get to grips with at first, but rewarding in the long term", Reverse Parking "Shy but fit in well given time and the right situation", Emergency Stop "You run hot and cold and change your mind frequently, often being noisy and abrupt" - hey! I think I could do this!)

Next, it tells me that my funky inner hair colour is orange because I'm "deep" and that I pull off weird well. Oh yeah? I pull off weird well do I? Uh-huh.

If you REALLY want, you can have a programme give you a deep insight* to your true self:
How Evil Are You?
What Planet Are You From?

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*complete with illustrative colour pictures for your blog

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Number of car park enquiries so far today: none (yet)

But there were LOADS on Friday. Apparently the car park is still taking bookings but not providing the ‘service’ of telling customers that the place is closed and that they’ll be redirected when they try to park for their flight. Again, we have to deal with the ensuing carnage, grumpiness and bad attitude.